Monthly(-ish) Energy Readings —
The vibes right now. Valid for the month or whenever you come across them.
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November 2023
Tarot Card:
The Fool Reversed
Symbolic Image: Two Mourning Doves sitting on a wire.
Oracle Message:
To reach your wildest dreams you have to be a little delusional.
To reach your wildest dreams you have to be a little delusional.
You might be dreaming of the past in a way that feels syrupy and gauzy - the “all snuggled up” feeling gushing. These dreams are hitting a sweet spot in relation to the fantasies, illusions, or methods of escapism (or, all of the above) that have felt the most gripping, intoxicating, or comforting (or, again, all of the above) – probably for decades now. But you wake from the dream. You’re here. In a body. Did it get enough sleep? You have to feed it. You go to the kitchen and there are dishes to clean. Reality is full of finitudes; we’re always having to work within the limitations of its solidities, the denseness and weightiness of its matter, time. This contrast is being highlighted right now in a sort of uncomfortable, potentially merciless way.
Most likely the things you’re dreaming about have already let you down in one way or another. There was most likely a harsh drop at one point from seeming perfection to deep disappointment. Something about them makes them best suited for “the past” and they should be left firmly in place there. If you do choose to dip back in, you might find your old coping mechanisms aren’t really hitting the way they used to anyway, or the hangovers just don’t feel worth it anymore.
It’s not so much that you were floating around in castles in the sky (although that’s not unlikely), but that these things were a coping mechanism protecting you from a truth you were not yet ready to face. Now, the universe is coming down on you pretty hard re: releasing. And most likely, on some level, you know the old story of you is winding down – loose ends being brought together and tied up. You might not fully be onto your next tale, but you can see where this one is going. And you can’t unsee it. Something that feels good when you’re struggling to let go is the release of pressure when you finally do. There is a peace that comes with giving up.
Stories can end in many ways and I believe firmly in choices. What will you learn from this story? What do you want the next one to be? Your intuition will be offering some good suggestions. Let them come at their own tempo, in their own language – one only you know. Take those hints and let your conscious mind find ways to channel them into and engage with them in the real world. This, in service of creating a more satisfying reality, not one you want to escape from. If it starts to feel like work rather than being effortless, drop it and follow the next wave of inspiration, however softly it whispers to you. Dreams can actually become reality to the extent they work hand-in-hand with it. In this case, hand-in-hand being – engaging in life as the most authentic, embodied, healed version of you yet. Now that you have some idea of what that is (and isn’t) you can build bliss on solid ground - it won’t collapse this time. But you do have to make that choice. And every choice along the way.
Most likely the things you’re dreaming about have already let you down in one way or another. There was most likely a harsh drop at one point from seeming perfection to deep disappointment. Something about them makes them best suited for “the past” and they should be left firmly in place there. If you do choose to dip back in, you might find your old coping mechanisms aren’t really hitting the way they used to anyway, or the hangovers just don’t feel worth it anymore.
It’s not so much that you were floating around in castles in the sky (although that’s not unlikely), but that these things were a coping mechanism protecting you from a truth you were not yet ready to face. Now, the universe is coming down on you pretty hard re: releasing. And most likely, on some level, you know the old story of you is winding down – loose ends being brought together and tied up. You might not fully be onto your next tale, but you can see where this one is going. And you can’t unsee it. Something that feels good when you’re struggling to let go is the release of pressure when you finally do. There is a peace that comes with giving up.
Stories can end in many ways and I believe firmly in choices. What will you learn from this story? What do you want the next one to be? Your intuition will be offering some good suggestions. Let them come at their own tempo, in their own language – one only you know. Take those hints and let your conscious mind find ways to channel them into and engage with them in the real world. This, in service of creating a more satisfying reality, not one you want to escape from. If it starts to feel like work rather than being effortless, drop it and follow the next wave of inspiration, however softly it whispers to you. Dreams can actually become reality to the extent they work hand-in-hand with it. In this case, hand-in-hand being – engaging in life as the most authentic, embodied, healed version of you yet. Now that you have some idea of what that is (and isn’t) you can build bliss on solid ground - it won’t collapse this time. But you do have to make that choice. And every choice along the way.
October 2023
Tarot Card: Death, 5 of Swords Reversed
Symbolic Image: Dropping your laptop, but it doesn’t break.
Oracle Message: Getting small items from your to-do list done creates a sense of forward momentum.
You might have been contending with a push/pull of momentum for a while now. Some things had to die, and you’ve accepted that. They might have been things tied to external validation around your sense of living out a “successful” life. You might have found yourself comparing your story to others' and felt like a little bit of a loser somehow. But when you redirect your gaze to your path, you know that no matter what your life looks like in those (largely capitalistic) terms, you’ve landed on one more authentic to you, that makes your whole heart sing – tapping into its most far reaching corners in a whole new way. Even if it meant clearing out a lot and building from scratch.
Your old path might have been working in some ways, but in retrospect, you can see how your soul was not fully engaged, how you hadn’t yet heeded its calls toward embodying your personal truth, much less in a sustainable way. That would have caught up with you no matter what.
We get handed a lot of stories about how life should go and put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make all the pieces fit together in the “right” way, across the “right” timeline. But you’ve realized there’s no universal puzzle to be solved here. The veil has lifted – you see there is no inherent way it’s all supposed to go and that you have to develop your own belief system around how a life is lived, with your authenticity and heart as the compass.
External progress might feel like it stalls sometimes. You might have felt some revelatory feelings, made big changes, saw major progress, and then it seems to plateau. Change can feel unwieldy because it can happen in so many ways. There’s the slow one, where you feel like you’re getting dragged by the universe all the way through, and then there are those changes that happen in a flash, quick and sudden, after which life is never the same. You’ve been experiencing both. You might feel some discomfort and pressure mounting around what still needs to happen, but know that that kind of building pressure always leads to a burst valve (not in a bad way!) eventually. As you construct your new belief systems, you might also consider your views on how time and progress work. You’re both exactly where you need to be and have some big strides to make all in the same moment.
Your old path might have been working in some ways, but in retrospect, you can see how your soul was not fully engaged, how you hadn’t yet heeded its calls toward embodying your personal truth, much less in a sustainable way. That would have caught up with you no matter what.
We get handed a lot of stories about how life should go and put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make all the pieces fit together in the “right” way, across the “right” timeline. But you’ve realized there’s no universal puzzle to be solved here. The veil has lifted – you see there is no inherent way it’s all supposed to go and that you have to develop your own belief system around how a life is lived, with your authenticity and heart as the compass.
External progress might feel like it stalls sometimes. You might have felt some revelatory feelings, made big changes, saw major progress, and then it seems to plateau. Change can feel unwieldy because it can happen in so many ways. There’s the slow one, where you feel like you’re getting dragged by the universe all the way through, and then there are those changes that happen in a flash, quick and sudden, after which life is never the same. You’ve been experiencing both. You might feel some discomfort and pressure mounting around what still needs to happen, but know that that kind of building pressure always leads to a burst valve (not in a bad way!) eventually. As you construct your new belief systems, you might also consider your views on how time and progress work. You’re both exactly where you need to be and have some big strides to make all in the same moment.
September 2023
Tarot Card:
Eight of Pentacles, Ace of Swords
Eight of Pentacles, Ace of Swords
Symbolic Image:
The disseminating moon.
The disseminating moon.
Oracle Message:
Whatever you are thinking, feeling, etc. is the product of old stories that no longer apply.
Whatever you are thinking, feeling, etc. is the product of old stories that no longer apply.
There are things you know, and you alone. Your experiences, your ancestry, your neurological makeup have all created a thumbprint you leave on everything you touch, unlike anyone else's. There might be reasons you've had to walk with some inner truths, possibly some important revelations, in silence. We're often encouraged to be in dialogue with the external world when we see something we think might be worth critically engaging with (to “speak up”), but the moment such a thought is provoked (or perhaps it's just a sense of discord, contrast, or tension) is not always the moment to bring it up. Sometimes you might have to skirt the issue a bit, avoid some people and conversations, to thoroughly mine the niggling feeling you're getting that something just isn't sitting right, without the pressure to dispatch. Sometimes there are other elements in play beyond just you as well and time truly needs to play out and reveal more. You might also need to build up more of a sense of fortitude around what you're thinking and feeling. If you're dealing with strong or persuasive personalities that might sway you or cause you to waver, it helps to have spent time with yourself getting clear on things and sculpting your thoughts into a clear stance (or even just into words, period) from their more raw and shapeless, intuitive nascence. Once you do, you can return to the world with a solid, generative offering — an insight, an idea, an observation — that only you could have put together.
You might be going through some confusion around the direction of your life right now, but it's also a highly inspired moment, where your dreams and sense of idealism are being stirred. In the coming years, the universe will lend a hand in figuring out what seeds you can realistically plant and tend toward their full potential. You're being encouraged to take your life's long-term direction seriously right now, however trite that might sound. The way we experience time on Earth, at least in these vessels, is finite. If the reality of time keeps calling, pick up the phone.
August 2023
︎on Shuffle: Sweat Check, Saweetie
Tarot Card:
Knight of Swords
Knight of Swords
Symbolic Image:
An orca soaring above the ocean, Free Willy style.
An orca soaring above the ocean, Free Willy style.
Oracle Message:
You’re getting messages (or will be) that seem like someone/ something is talking to you from another realm. Listen.
You’re getting messages (or will be) that seem like someone/ something is talking to you from another realm. Listen.
There’s a strong message here about centering yourself and letting go of external influences. You may have been more cooperation oriented in your relationships up until now, always making space for others – to your detriment. There’s something here about a relationship(s) making you turn on yourself, or even putting you at war with yourself. Perhaps you internalized others’ perspectives and are constantly seeing yourself through their eyes, forgetting your sovereignty. Perhaps you’ve been blaming yourself for not handling a conflict well when really there’s a lack of reciprocity on the other end you’re not even acknowledging. Something about this type of relational dynamic is rooted in the past – maybe you are/were in a situation that’s repeated itself with several people, or even generationally within your family – and you might have just been pushing through all this for a long time, never tending to the wounds that were continually reinforcing themselves. But you’re finally distancing yourself now, if not outright walking away. It might feel demoralizing, you might even be wavering a bit – but it also feels right. And regardless, circumstances may have left you with no other choice either way.
Whatever led up to this might have elicited some anger. There’s that energy of having an argument in your head in the shower where you finally know exactly what to say and how to say it, and get to “win” in the way you feel you’ve been denied. You’re being encouraged to explore your anger whether it’s just with yourself or actually confronting someone. Doing so might be generative, and help both ground and propel the momentum of coming back into your personal power. Diving head first into your anger can also lead to clarifying, cloud clearing epiphanies. In allowing yourself to just go off, something might just spontaneously come out of your mouth that hits the nail on the head. Freeform expression can create a snowball effect, gathering all those disparate bits and pieces into one coherant stance. And a lot of times, your sense of knowing is just tucked out of view behind people pleasing tendencies.
So now that you’ve surrendered to the need to move on – you’ll want to redirect the energy you were giving relationships toward cultivating a healing, restful, sweet little sanctuary, and tucking yourself away for a bit. This will give you a chance to shift into a new head space, assimilate the lessons you’ve learned in peace, and release with ease. The process of cultivating a space that elicits happiness will also regenerate those seemingly bygone dimensions of the real you – the one you lost to relationships in the past – because you have to identify the things that efficate that. What happened to the version of you that loved to play chess? Draw? Garden? As you reconnect with your identity opportunities to meet new people who connect to the more authentic you will naturally emerge. These people will be unlike anyone from your past and help seal the deal on this transformation – proving that you can have healthy relationships that make you feel lovable and good enough, just as you are. What a lovely place to be. Congrats!